around the bend.

the photographs without the faces

the photographs of just the landscapes where we've been.

so I can, forget them easily...

like I wish I could forget you.

like I wish I could forget you.

Maybe I'll write this out or maybe I'll leave this down

Maybe I'll write this out or maybe I'll still look down...

for you, around the bend.

and wouldn't you love to love her?

We're watching a clip of Fleetwood Mac perform "Rhiannon" in my Music, TV and American Culture class. I love this song so much that if I have a daughter I would have trouble not naming her Rhiannon lol... I mean who wouldn't want to be this girl, such a mystery but obviously so incredibly special: "all your liiife you've never seen a woman, taken by the wind. would you stayyy if she promised you heaven, will you ever win?"

What a song. Stevie Nicks has to be the best songwriter possibly ever. Maybe I should name my daughter Stevie, like that contestant on American Idol who clearly had parents with high musical aspirations. Then again, she didn't make it that far in the competition... I wouldn't want my kid to feel like she had to live out her parent's dreams. Maybe I should stop thinking so far ahead in life and pay attention in class

... ummm scratch that now we are watching KISS perform, I'd rather think of hypothetical names for my baby haha...and now my professor is talking about his experiences with drugs... Professors and drugs have become quite a staple in my experience in USC music industry classes...

ANYWAY wow what a random post... here are my top 3 names at the moment because of my love and fascination with these admirable women (whether fictional or real-- (not to mention REALLY genuine and talented :)

Top 3 remain: Rhiannon, Stevie, TAYLOR

andd ohhh lookie here... we have all three :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECCg3eyvmQE

don't you know that i...

So I haven't updated in quite some time, but since I've been frequenting the blogosphere recently because several of my good friends are posting their adventures from super cool foreign lands, I thought I'd write a bit. And by write, I mean talk about music because, whether I like it or not, that's what comes out.

I love discovering unreleased songs by artists. It's like a secret treasure that they know not everyone will appreciate, so they don't release it to the mass media. Or maybe it's so close to the heart they don't know if they'd feel comfortable with their words being played all over top 40 radio or set to another character's story in a night-time soap opera. I recently came across an unreleased song byMat Kearney, one of my favorite artists EVER, called Everyone I know. He recently posted the following quote on his twitter: "a brave song looks away from nothing". I think every good songwriter strives to write a brave song, one that's fearless in execution. Leaving in the parts that your heart just vomits out onto the page and when taking a second look say mayyyybeee I shouldn't have used that word (exhibit a: this sentence's use of the word vomit). For Mat Kearney, this song is his heart vomit (I said it AGAIN!) He put it all out there. Described the situation as his heart saw it and became vulnerable. Maybe not to everyone, but to the person he loved: he gave his heart. I think that's what I long for, the courage to be vulnerable...

We pulled out on 65, saw Birmingham on a tuesday night

With your broken leg, our favorite song: "Julie, Julie" we sang along.

And our tired eyes pulled up the drive, could hear the phone ring on the other side

Of your front door, that your hands made. She was so surprised you came

and we talked about babies names, halloween in the pouring rain

And I fell asleep, on the couch and through the walls I kissed your moth

And I know what it's like

Cause everyone that I know

And every place that I go

And every story that I'm told

it's love. it's love. it's love

that we're looking for.

There's an outcry in the street where all the outcasts walk their beats

and all the widows and black sheep lay their souls down low to sleep

and i can hardly find the means or all the words i mean to speak

but still this fire inside of me, seems to much for me alone to keep.

And now the writings on the wall, forgotten crying kids

will you send a prayer for me? Will you help me to stand?

Because I know what it's like...

first train home.

I've realized that most of the songs on my recent playlists have to do with the idea of home. So many people have a different concept of what a home is. One of my favorite movies, the indie Zach Braff movie Garden State, home is explained in this way:

You'll see one day when you move out. Just sorta happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know? You won't ever have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself. You know, for ..You're your kids. For the family you start. It's like a cycle or something. I don't know. But I miss the idea of it, you know? Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.

Home has always been where my family is. Where the people i love the most are together within a secluded place where we can be ourselves, not be judged, not try to be something we're not. It just feels right; away from the pressures of the world and trying to fit in and trying to be successful. This concept of home has been ingrained in me for so long that i love it and can't picture myself shifting to some alternate definition of home. But lately I've been wondering, can 'home' be found with a person? As scary as it sounds, I think it can be found with someone you can be yourself with, it becomes like a perfect ideal. My new internship is with the management/licensing company that represents Ingrid Michaelson. I've been listening to her CD pretty much 24/7 and her song "Are We There Yet?" basically summarizes everything i've been feeling...

They say that home is where the heart is.
I guess I haven't found my home,
and we keep driving round in circles
afraid to call this place our own

and are we there yet?
home, home, home.

where you, lie on the rug. and I, play with the dog.


as simple as it is; i hope that is my future home. to be content, in someone else's presence forever.

Here's a video of her performing this song ( I love how she's wearing pj's :)

this is a message from your heart, your most devoted body part...taking blood and making art.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable… The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers …of love, is Hell-- (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves).


Wise and deep words written by one of the wisest men this world has ever known... I've read this book by Lewis before but re-reading this quote just made me realize that i've been wrapping my heart carefully around the busyness of life. not really listening or paying attention to what it's feeling or saying or leading me towards. It's been like this for a while, and i can't say it's not safe... i'm just afraid of its becoming hard when it should be vulnerable and attentive to the Lord's leading, at the same time I'm equally afraid of it being hurt.

Something's lost. But Something's gained in living, every day.

and if you care, don’t let them know… don’t give yourself away
I’ve looked at love from both sides now,
from give and take and still somehow
It’s love's illusions I recall, I really don’t know love… at all.


Joni Mitchell-- I don't think there are words to describe how deeply her voice speaks to the heart...

It's the sound of the unlocking and the lifting away...

This my excavation and today is kumran.

Everything that happens is from now on...

This is pouring rain

This is paralyzed

--Bon Iver~ re:Stacks

Bon Iver is the most soothing artist I have ever listened to. It's like his words and melodies create an addictive drone that repeats and replays in my head on days like this.

I've never been a fan of rain, although some of my fondest memories have been in the rain, or more like inside watching the rain. Maybe it's that feeling of warmth when the world outside is cold. To me, this song is about a cleansing experience that comes with putting your cards out on the table. I'm definitely not a fan of gambling but the analogy in this song of "stacks" is too pointed to miss. In a game of cards, like in life; you can either take risks and put all your chips on the table or you can sit back and guard your heart. It's kind of a challenge that I think we all go through in life in different situations. There have been times when I just feel like I need an excavation, kind of soul-searching experience to really let something go. When you have that declaration moment: FROM NOW ON... i'm not going to ________. The rain POURS and your thoughts disappear and you're paralyzed in what you've decided in your heart...

The thing that gets me about this song is the last verse where throughout the thought process he realizes that it's not like he's a new person. It's going to come back, you're going to relive it. The hurt never fully goes away: "This is not the sound of a new man"-- don't think he's got it all figured out. There's no clear slate here, it's just that he's committed to moving on. No "Crispy realization" here... he knows he's going to go back, your mind's going to wander and you're going to think back to those times BUT... that doesnt' change the path you've decided to choose.

It's kind of like Robert Frost's two roads. You've chosen this road, no bars to hold you down. This is regarding your stack of chips, everything you have out on the table and there's nowhere left to go but the future. This is what from now on feels like, are you ready for the challenge?